Friday, May 21, 2004

Poor Colourless Beings

What is it about guys that makes them unable to distinguish the subtle differences in colour? What makes fuchsia merely pink for them? I'd be obliged if some guy actually attempted to answer this question, you know.

Today I was talking to a friend of mine in messenger and I changed my text colour from red to teal. Immediately the next message was -- "Why the yucky green text colour?" I merely informed him that it's teal. In a nice way, mind you. Didn't lose my patience. Very matter-of-fact. Not even sarcastic. After all, he was a guy. Next message says, "Well, whatever. Looks green." Now excuse me! I try to enlighten my poor colour challenged friend and he refuses to be enlightened? How can teal be green? How can teal be anything but teal?

The same case with another person (male, of course) who refuses to understand the nuances between fuchsia and pink. Fuchsia, my dear people, is a strong purplish red. There is a reason why the english dictionary has a word called fuchsia. It's not merely to be dropped in conversations to show your mental superiority, but you'll know why it exists the next time your girlfriend wears that and asks you how she looks. You can come back with - "Gorgeous, fuchsia is definitely your colour." You can never go wrong with that.

Then there's this fellow who asked me what my favourite colour was. I said yellow and he goes "Whaaaaaattt?" Geez! I have to explain to him that yellow has many different shades, mine is a nice pale lemon yellow, not the MSN smiley yellow or the Govinda pant yellow and then he attempts to nod and desperately tries to understand. I almost feel sorry for doing that to him.

And there is a big difference between mauve and purple. I went shopping once and I picked up a light mauve shirt which I thought would look really nice with black trousers. It was a lovely colour and I show it to him and he says, "Purple?!" with a horrified look on his face. I wouldn't recommend purple to people I liked even if my life depended on it. Purple is worn by gay singers or Vivek Oberoi in a ridiculous coke advert. Not by people I know. And mauve is definitely NOT purple! It's not even light purple.

Come on guys! Life is just not a colour wheel of red, blue and green, okay? What are you going to do when your girlfriend asks you if she should use the Sandalwood Beige or Buiscuit Brown lipstick? Are you going to go "HUHH?!" No, of course not! Empower yourselves! Go out there and learn to distinguish the bronze from burnt sienna, the khaki from ochre, the olive green from chartreuse. You have it in you! You can do it!

If you can mollify the unforgiving girlfriend,
With colours other than green, red and blue -
Then yours is the Earth if colours you comprehend,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man, won't you!

With deep apologies to Mr. Kipling. ;o)

6 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

hmmm, cannot say i can comprehend the subtleties of colour. usually i can see about five colours of the rainbow.
guess gals had to be better at something (tongue in cheek)
[Posted by aloque on Friday May 21, 2004 at 11:53 pm]

11 June, 2005 23:22  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

to say teal is not green would bordering on being a lil fussy wit preception of your hues.lets take for granted that the fairer(still dont know why they is called that)sex have better appreciation and pride in the working of thier rods and cones doesnt mean magenta and crimson are not red.so get over it and just like playing it safe by saying u like yella some of us (me in particular)would like to stick to the red,greens and blues.but hey atleast u have the sophisticated fruitcakes in your camp!
[Posted by daanyboi on Saturday May 22, 2004 at 1:35 pm]

11 June, 2005 23:23  
Blogger Aran said...

Well, hello there aloque. You need a lesson or two in the finer aspects of distinguishing colours, do you? ;)

daanyboi, I'll forgive the crimson being red, (I do make allowances for guys), but magenta and red? They're the same? Oopsydaisy! You don't know what you're missing. Wish you a more colourful life then. :)
[Posted by Aran on Saturday May 22, 2004 at 5:03 pm]

11 June, 2005 23:23  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

know what, i didn't add you. no way of knowing you're online unless you ping me.

some people would kill for that convenience tho!
[Posted by aloque on Sunday May 23, 2004 at 10:25 am]

11 June, 2005 23:23  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is why traffic lights were designed for men. We still don't understand that useless in between red and green...what IS that??
btw, this aslo has implication for the differences in drving skills..heh heh!!
Let the brickbats..begin!
[Posted by Neurotron on Monday May 24, 2004 at 10:25 am]

11 June, 2005 23:24  
Blogger Aran said...

The driving bait won't get you anywhere. I'm told I drive like my dad, only faster and more dangerously. :p

And especially for you, I'm answering the Q sweetly - Amber.
[Posted by Aran on Monday May 24, 2004 at 2:13 pm]

11 June, 2005 23:24  

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