My Mom's a Gyno
Please note: My mom is a Gyno.
The italics in that sentence mean that you do not ask me embarrassing questions about womanly matters. I do not know why your period is delayed or has come early this month. I don't know what you should eat to delay it or to make it regular. I do not know anything about what hormones to take. I don't even know why you're losing hair, although I do not think that's a gynecologist's domain. I studied my basic biology in school, same as you. I never even dissected a frog. We just did cheek cells... and it's a long way to the uterus from there.
I have no idea why my friends consider me the expert on all things that need to be referred to a Gyno. The most recent case was when a friend thought she had miscarried and asked me if she really did. Now, she's in Melbourne and I'm in Hyderabad. I think, even if I was qualified, I'd need to be in the same room to answer that question. Descriptions of bloodied innards coming out followed (at least that's how it seemed) and my pukiness meter constantly fluctuated and threatened to go through the roof. This amid my protests that I will not know anything about miscarriages and its really futile to ask me.
"But your mom's a gyno!" she said.
Right. So right! My mom's a gyno and I am not. I do not accompany her on her rounds or inside those operation theatres. Yes, I'm intelligent and well read, but still, her compounder would give you better advice than I could. I seriously do not know why Taz had that complication after her delivery. How would I know??! Even after she told me all about epidurals and labour pains and other things, even when she described the six hour long delivery in minute detail, I still could not know why her neck felt wooden the next day after the delivery. Why am I expected to know?
"Cos your Mom's a gyno," she said.
Sigh. Well, she is. And I'm forced into being the quack Gyno. Why, oh why?! Does this happen to everyone? Is a cardiologist's son expected to know of matters of the heart? Do neurologists' sons take up cases about sick nerves? Does a sexologist's son... well, maybe if he's interested enough. But really, isn't this crazy? I really do not know anything about what my mother studied, or does for a living. I'm my own self, apart from her. Really. We do not have heart-to-heart conversations about female problems. Never had. In fact, we didn't even have the birds and bees discussion. So really. Please, just stop it. I don't know why things happen to you. I'm perfectly willing to get my mother on the phone and you can ask her. I cannot help it if you're shy and cannot talk to her but would prefer to ask me. I still do not know!
"But how can you not know? You're a Gynecologist's daughter!" she screams.
Well, sadly, it's not in the blood. Otherwise, I'm also an agricultural scientist's daughter. One who invented a new kind of tomato. I don't see you asking me about tomatoes, do I? Huh? C'mon. Ask me. Go on. I'm the tomato girl. What's wrong now? Why don't you?
It's all about what you need. Always.
The italics in that sentence mean that you do not ask me embarrassing questions about womanly matters. I do not know why your period is delayed or has come early this month. I don't know what you should eat to delay it or to make it regular. I do not know anything about what hormones to take. I don't even know why you're losing hair, although I do not think that's a gynecologist's domain. I studied my basic biology in school, same as you. I never even dissected a frog. We just did cheek cells... and it's a long way to the uterus from there.
I have no idea why my friends consider me the expert on all things that need to be referred to a Gyno. The most recent case was when a friend thought she had miscarried and asked me if she really did. Now, she's in Melbourne and I'm in Hyderabad. I think, even if I was qualified, I'd need to be in the same room to answer that question. Descriptions of bloodied innards coming out followed (at least that's how it seemed) and my pukiness meter constantly fluctuated and threatened to go through the roof. This amid my protests that I will not know anything about miscarriages and its really futile to ask me.
"But your mom's a gyno!" she said.
Right. So right! My mom's a gyno and I am not. I do not accompany her on her rounds or inside those operation theatres. Yes, I'm intelligent and well read, but still, her compounder would give you better advice than I could. I seriously do not know why Taz had that complication after her delivery. How would I know??! Even after she told me all about epidurals and labour pains and other things, even when she described the six hour long delivery in minute detail, I still could not know why her neck felt wooden the next day after the delivery. Why am I expected to know?
"Cos your Mom's a gyno," she said.
Sigh. Well, she is. And I'm forced into being the quack Gyno. Why, oh why?! Does this happen to everyone? Is a cardiologist's son expected to know of matters of the heart? Do neurologists' sons take up cases about sick nerves? Does a sexologist's son... well, maybe if he's interested enough. But really, isn't this crazy? I really do not know anything about what my mother studied, or does for a living. I'm my own self, apart from her. Really. We do not have heart-to-heart conversations about female problems. Never had. In fact, we didn't even have the birds and bees discussion. So really. Please, just stop it. I don't know why things happen to you. I'm perfectly willing to get my mother on the phone and you can ask her. I cannot help it if you're shy and cannot talk to her but would prefer to ask me. I still do not know!
"But how can you not know? You're a Gynecologist's daughter!" she screams.
Well, sadly, it's not in the blood. Otherwise, I'm also an agricultural scientist's daughter. One who invented a new kind of tomato. I don't see you asking me about tomatoes, do I? Huh? C'mon. Ask me. Go on. I'm the tomato girl. What's wrong now? Why don't you?
It's all about what you need. Always.
posted by Aran at 2:37 AM
13 Comments:
Is the tomato in question the same tomato that was used in one of the Telugu movies in a romantic scene where it was wedged between the noses of the hero and the heroine, and when the two came really close it got sqaushed?
Oh geez! How does one answer such a profound question? Nevertheless, I shall attempt to. No.
But how can you be sure? If you know jack about a uterus despite being a gyno's daughter, I am guessing you know as much about tomatoes too despite being an agri scientist's daughter.
See Scripto, it's like this. If a uterus that had been worked on by my mother had been used between the noses of Telugu filmstars, I'd have known. And so is the case with the tomato. Hope that answers the question. Please feel free to ask another.
lol!...oh my god aran...first the post..then this hilarious exchange in the comments...you always do a fantastic job of cheering me up...
The word Aran, is developed, not invented.
I'm glad you've been cheered up, Anil. The world needs me! :D
Anonymous, so it is! But surely something that had not been before is invented, yes? To better on something which has been before is to develop, right? The new kind of tomato hadn't been in existence before my father got it into being. Hence, invented. And somehow, scientists sound better off 'inventing'. :)
Aran: James Watt invented the steam engine, but some other guy used Watt,s invention to develop a steam ship, right!
But, any given way, you cannot invent a living thing, u can invent mechanisms to alter it, but the process of making a new form life would be developing, to counter your arguement, there was a tomato before your dad actually "invented" another tomato, all he did was work on the existing one, to make it better, in your dad s case, i guess a drought/disease resistant variety or one with a better post harvest shelf life.
Anyway, i was just taking a piss at you with the 'developed-invented' scenario. i am not a picky-purist when it comes to language, i reckon language is a means of communication, not complication, and as long as the message is thru, thats all matters.
Wow, long comment. :D
You're welcome to take potshots Anonymous. I do that too, so no biggie. :)
Let's not quibble over the invent-develop matter. I'll concede gracefully. It should have been developed. (But invented still isn't wrong. Such grace I have!)
I agree whole-heartedly with your last paragraph, but there's a fine line one must walk between not being a purist and actually being lazy enough to not use language properly. That's such a confusing statement. I mean there should be effort to at least be good enough to not be bad. And then, learning never killed anyone. :)
I guess the term 'evolution' applies to language as well, along with cultures, animals and plants.
Na, i am not good at english either, to take pot shots at anyone else, its just not area of excellence.
It sure does Jai. Man lords over language, not the other way around; and so it can be used according to people's whims and fancies. However, it's always better to know the rules before breaking them.
Are the tomato prices expected to shoot up in the near future, Miss Weird?? :P
Sadly, there are no fortune-tellers hanging around in my family tree. There aren't even any vegetable sellers, so I can't even make an educated guess. So I have to inform you with deep regret that I have no answer to your question. But please, don't let this minor setback deter you from visiting again.
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