Me Too

Help! Save me!

I have a problem.

There's someone in my head. Or two. Or three. I mean, I have too many lives and too many ways to live them all. Result, MPD. I am too tired being so many mes (plural of me). I don't think this condition is very well-known or well-documented, so please bear with me while I go on inventing words like someone possessed. Possessed by an alternate me, that is.

This thing has grown so big and out of control that I can easily differentiate between the different mes (there's that new word again. Now I use it one more time and add it to my vocabulary. Okay. Mes. And added. How cool am I!) There's the child-me, whose personality is so much like what I am. I mean, so much like what is apparent in this blog. The bubbly, Ms. Sunshine, aka clown, weirdo... reminds me of that toy - you hit it on the nose and he bounces right back. I take you back and you kick me down, Cause that's the way, ahaan ahaan, I like it. Going from one topic to the next, completely confusing the hell out of your poor little heads. *taking a bow*

Then there's the serious me. I don't like serious-me much. She's almost always moping around. All lending shoulders and talking to people like she was about 60 or so. Stupid schoolmarm type. Life for her must be so boring. I shudder even thinking about it. Poor thing.

Then, according to how a friend puts it, there's the goody-goody-me. (perhaps I should let D describe this one, but...) She is even more sugary than all the other personalities put together. Set your teeth on edge types. You know, those people who are always politically correct, endlessly patient, living for others and not letting anything ruffle their feathers. In a word, SENSIBLE. That's goody-goody-me. I mean, she's so damn detatched that she's almost not there. Everything can be looked at objectively and the practical mind always makes good decisions, etc. etc. Blegh!

Then there's the bitchy-me. I kind of like her guts. Stupid thing says anything which comes to mind and creates havoc. (And ultimately some of the other personalities have to make up for the problems she creates.) This female's got a vendetta against the world. Everything's set up to torture her and she tortures right back. Caustic remarks, really sarky personality... you get my point.

There are others but I'm kinda shy talking about them. And if you're wondering who's writing this piece, why, it's me!

Sometimes I wonder how a conversation between us must go. Merely an example:

Child-me: Hey, I have a great idea about this post. It's totally whacko!
Serious-me: Well, okay.
G-G-me: Yes, It surely must be. You're a great writer, you know.
Child-me: Thank...
Bitchy-me: Oh please. Not that good really. I mean, it's good. But not great. She just about manages to string a few sentences together.
Child-me: Oh.
G-G-me:come on. Give her some credit. She's on the top here.
Serious-me: That's just 'cos she comments so much. Each comment gives her three hits. Did you know that?
G-G-me: So? Listen, whatever you say, she's a great writer.
Bitchy-me: How can somebody comment on their own posts like that? Is it even ethical? Bumping the counters. She holds conversations there. The hits just build up. Anyone can do it. It's nothing great.
Child-me: Well, I don't know.
Serious-me: What?
Child-me: Well, I thought...
Bitchy-me: Obviously you did. How dumb!
G-G-me: Stop it. Just look at her poor face. How can you do this to her?

It goes on. And on. Just imagine all the problems I have with all of them talking to each other like that. Giving me (which me? :p) headaches with their incessant chatter. If it goes on like this, I don't think it will be long before I have a very intimate relationship with an asylum.

And you know... all this is in addition to those 'other' voices...