From Hero to Zero

In spite of the crappy title (which sounds like a really bad Mithun Chakraborty movie) that I've managed to think up for this post, I'll go ahead with writing it without any embarrassment whatever. Yes, some of you might think I've lost it, and perhaps I have.

The topic of this post is role models. Or rather, being one. When you're the eldest in your generation, you naturally are expected to forge new pathways and set new limits, surpassing those of the generation which has passed. (For example, if your father got 56% in his tenth board exam, you get 75%. That way.) Here, I am the eldest one and I thought I had done my duty with the utmost reverence and perseverance, smile on my face in the face of adversity and all that. But recently, I've seen my younger cousins bounding across the limits I've set. The goals I've reached are now just a rest stop for them.

It wasn't that long ago when I had been on a pedestal. All the words coming out of my mouth were listened to with an enraptured expression, sometimes even repeated in an awed voice. Take this for example:

Characters: my cousin who is six years younger to me and I.

Scene 1: I was in the 7th or 8th standard and we were having a discussion about what everyone wanted to be when they grew up. I said I wanted to be a vet. (That was because I loved animals and didn't know that I had to take chemistry in junior college to acheive that goal. When I came to know about the chem, the love of animals understandably went down a bit.) Anyway, I said I wanted to be a vet then. Little, cute cousin asked me what that was. I said it's an animal doctor. Instant widening of eyes and she is looking at me like those weirdo devotees look at their sadhu baba. (I know that's such a yuck comparison, makes me think of myself in flowing saffron with a beard.) But anyway, the point here is she thought I was the coolest thing on earth. (Ok, the devotees do not know the meaning of COOL, so scrap the comparison and let's get on with this). Then, a pause and she says she wants to be a vet too. I was bowled over. I mean, what's more flattering than that? Of course, I did the gracious 'Oh no, you still have a lot of years to go before you decide... you might want to have your own goal.' speech at that time, but I was secretly thrilled. Who wouldn't be?

Now cut to a few years later... scene 2: Cousin stays over at my house and we have a heart to heart. I am, well, grown up and she has just passed her 10th standard. She tells me about the guys in her life. First, I am shocked. Think, she is too small for all that. Then it sinks in, thankfully I make none of the 'you're too young for guys' comments, and then I feel honoured. I mean, she trusted me enough to come and share that with me. Ego swelled to burst point.

Cut to a few days earlier: Scene 3: I enter cousin's house and we have a little chit chat about each others lives. Then she goes-- "Why haven't you filed your nails? They're looking so bad." After a while - "You really need to change your hairstyle." Later - "Don't you use any moisturiser?"

How did this happen? Sometime, when I wasn't paying attention, I moved from somebody she looks up to, to somebody she can look down her nose at. While I was strutting and doing the elder sister stuff, my younger sis grew up and I didn't even notice.

I want my weirdo devotee back.