Surprise!!!!!

By definition, surprise means:

1. To encounter suddenly or unexpectedly; take or catch unawares.
2. To attack or capture suddenly and without warning.
3. To cause to feel wonder, astonishment, or amazement, as at something unanticipated.

That is courtesy www.dictionary.com. The highlights are mine though. Please take a few moments to think about the highlights. There's a reason behind making those words bold. Read all those reasons. They play a part in my life and I am going to elaborate how in just a moment. Err... I think you can safely skip over definition 2. I don't think I am going to be attacked or captured anytime soon, (but then that's what I think. If someone was going to catch me by surprise, I wouldn't know it now, would I?)

Now, in contrast to the definitions above, I was informed yesterday, that I was going to get a surprise tomorrow. A surprise, my dear friends, is not supposed to be known beforehand. You can't tell someone, "Hey! I'm going to surprise you." It ceases to be a surprise. It says right there on that dictionary site!

And I, by nature, am a curious person. Yes, yes, I know all those things about curiosity killing cats and all, but I cannot help it. If someone tells me half of something I am itching to know, I get consumed by thoughts of that thing day and night and morning and evening and afternoon and... you get the point. It's a disease. It's a curse. It's something I want to get over, but can't. :(

So, since yesterday, I've been obsessing on the fact. What will it be tomorrow? Will I like it? Will it be _________? (fill the blank with a thousand and one different things I have thought about since yesterday). And now there still are about 22 hours before I come to know what it is.

How mean can they be? Why did they have to mention the surprise if they weren't going to tell me? NO! The anticipation thing doesn't even begin to answer that question. I do NOT want to anticipate things. Anticipation is about things you know, not about things you don't know. And please, just take it from me, I am NOT an 'anticipation' person. I am the 'would like to know right now, thank you' person. And if they don't tell me after I bug them for half an hour, I might even turn into 'sicko, just tell me, @%#$%' (followed by more expletives) kind of a person. And then, if they don't tell me still, I turn into the 'Ok, I'm just going to sulk' person. I went through the whole routine yesterday, and still didn't come to know what it was. Not even a hint. MEAN, I tell you, mucho mean. (tee hee, that's spanish I think. Makes me feel cool to write that. ;)

I'm writing this to distract myself from mulling over the fact. And to make some of the frustration go away. It's not a nice feeling, this 'anticipation'. I was told I will feel good when I finally get it after the anticipation. But what if I get disappointed? I mean, I've been thinking about this for so much time now, so it had better really thrill me when I get it, or I might turn into a furious, sputtering 'Stupid Cow! You wanted me to anticipate THIS?!!!!' kinda person and launch myself at my friends' throat.

And well, I still don't feel good after getting all this out of my system. What do you think it can be...? Aaaarrrrgggghhhhhhhh!!!