Why?
What is wrong with the world? What's wrong with a little platonic friendship between the sexes? Why don't people accept it for what it is? Why do people keep digging for more? If I'm friends with a guy, it HAS to be more than what meets the eye, does it? I'm tired of explaining my friendships now.
I met a group of friends yesterday (grad friends, all female). One friend (male) called up while I was with them. First, they kept staring at me all the time I was on the phone with him. Chins cupped in their hands and unblinking eyes on my face. I hung up in about 5 minutes max, and the conversation which happened immediately afterwards goes like this:
Friends' Question - Who is he?
My answer - (Name), a friend
Q - Where'd u meet him?
A - On the net
Q - How long back?
A - A year maybe.
explanation related to answer - Remember that guy who met me on my b'day while I was with you? That fellow.
Friends - ohhhhhhhh
Me - Yes, that one
Q - So what's going on with him?
A - Nothing.
Q - Oh come on. Seriously.
A - Arey! Seriously. Nothing, just friends.
Q - Then why are you talking to him for a year?
Me, incredulous, - Why cant I?
Q - Well, then take it farther if you like him so much.
A - What the heck????!!
Q - Why not?
A - I don't like him that way.
Q - Ohh come on!
A, desperately trying to finish this, - Well, he's married. (he really is, I wasn't lying)
*dead silence and wild stares all around*
Apparently I should have told them this earlier. This bit of imformation comes in the post mortem, later. I really fail to understand what the big deal is.
Ok, then you'd think it stops. But no. There's nore. Then they just think I am crazy because the information just doesn't fit, and following the questions are not so... serious, but they're there. They're more easy... like how is he, what does he do, u like him n all. Then they continue:
tentatively, Q - Why are you friends with him if he is married?
A - Cos I like him, like talking to him and all.
*uncomprehending stares*
Q - Isn't it weird?
A - No
*wondering what to ask next, the topic cannot be allowed to die down like this. such an anti-climax*
Q - You know his wife?
A - WHAT does it matter?
*pause*
Me - No, I don't.
Friends - Hmmm...
*thinking*
Q - So what did you talk about?
I told them and I am not getting into that right now. It's pretty complicated and well, I'm just not, okay? Then the subject was dropped for a while, we talked about other things. Then they started going over the conversation again.
Q - Why didn't you tell us he was married, earlier, when we started asking you about him?
Gaaawwwddddd!!! How does it matter? I am not his friend because of his marital status. I'm friends with him 'cos I like HIM. And like, as in, LIKE - "friend like" not "romantic like". What is so hard to understand about something as simple as that? I'm friends with girls, am I not? And I'm not going all lezzy about you, so why would I go romantic about a guy, ANY guy, who happens to be my friend?
That is what I wanted to say, but didn't. I tackled it coolly. The subject was dropped. I'm proud of myself. *delivering one pat on back* I'm tired of brains which are wired that way. Every time a gal talks about a guy, the lights begin flashing. *grumble, grumble, grumble...* I think I'll keep grumbling about this for the rest of the day.
ps. A new thought just crossed my mind. What if he hadn't been married? Looking back, that was the ONE thing which shell-shocked, stopped them. What would it have taken to tell them that there was nothing without that bit of info? Any ideas?
I met a group of friends yesterday (grad friends, all female). One friend (male) called up while I was with them. First, they kept staring at me all the time I was on the phone with him. Chins cupped in their hands and unblinking eyes on my face. I hung up in about 5 minutes max, and the conversation which happened immediately afterwards goes like this:
Friends' Question - Who is he?
My answer - (Name), a friend
Q - Where'd u meet him?
A - On the net
Q - How long back?
A - A year maybe.
explanation related to answer - Remember that guy who met me on my b'day while I was with you? That fellow.
Friends - ohhhhhhhh
Me - Yes, that one
Q - So what's going on with him?
A - Nothing.
Q - Oh come on. Seriously.
A - Arey! Seriously. Nothing, just friends.
Q - Then why are you talking to him for a year?
Me, incredulous, - Why cant I?
Q - Well, then take it farther if you like him so much.
A - What the heck????!!
Q - Why not?
A - I don't like him that way.
Q - Ohh come on!
A, desperately trying to finish this, - Well, he's married. (he really is, I wasn't lying)
*dead silence and wild stares all around*
Apparently I should have told them this earlier. This bit of imformation comes in the post mortem, later. I really fail to understand what the big deal is.
Ok, then you'd think it stops. But no. There's nore. Then they just think I am crazy because the information just doesn't fit, and following the questions are not so... serious, but they're there. They're more easy... like how is he, what does he do, u like him n all. Then they continue:
tentatively, Q - Why are you friends with him if he is married?
A - Cos I like him, like talking to him and all.
*uncomprehending stares*
Q - Isn't it weird?
A - No
*wondering what to ask next, the topic cannot be allowed to die down like this. such an anti-climax*
Q - You know his wife?
A - WHAT does it matter?
*pause*
Me - No, I don't.
Friends - Hmmm...
*thinking*
Q - So what did you talk about?
I told them and I am not getting into that right now. It's pretty complicated and well, I'm just not, okay? Then the subject was dropped for a while, we talked about other things. Then they started going over the conversation again.
Q - Why didn't you tell us he was married, earlier, when we started asking you about him?
Gaaawwwddddd!!! How does it matter? I am not his friend because of his marital status. I'm friends with him 'cos I like HIM. And like, as in, LIKE - "friend like" not "romantic like". What is so hard to understand about something as simple as that? I'm friends with girls, am I not? And I'm not going all lezzy about you, so why would I go romantic about a guy, ANY guy, who happens to be my friend?
That is what I wanted to say, but didn't. I tackled it coolly. The subject was dropped. I'm proud of myself. *delivering one pat on back* I'm tired of brains which are wired that way. Every time a gal talks about a guy, the lights begin flashing. *grumble, grumble, grumble...* I think I'll keep grumbling about this for the rest of the day.
ps. A new thought just crossed my mind. What if he hadn't been married? Looking back, that was the ONE thing which shell-shocked, stopped them. What would it have taken to tell them that there was nothing without that bit of info? Any ideas?
posted by Aran at 5:10 AM
19 Comments:
You perhaps need to dump all your current friends (those grad day females) and make a new set. They surely sound a bit .. umm .. sick. Good luck to you.
[Posted by Magician on Tuesday Jun 29, 2004 at 3:27 pm]
if he hadn't been married, you should have just said u already have a boyfriend and its going pretty serious, maybe that might have stopped them...or then again maybe they would have started asking why u r cheating on ur boyfriend...*sigh*
three words, DUMP YOUR FRIENDS!
[Posted by martiandevil on Tuesday Jun 29, 2004 at 4:36 pm]
well i'd have to say your friends are just being naturally curious.think of it this way better ask you, infront of you then with other people behind your back.they are your freinds cut'em some slack.
[Posted by tabrez on Tuesday Jun 29, 2004 at 5:42 pm]
i say, keep your friends, make some more new male friends, preferably of doubtful character and shady reputation... sit back, relax and watch the fun.
lotsa jaws droppin open thru no fault of yours, always a sight to cherish.
[Posted by fallen angel on Tuesday Jun 29, 2004 at 5:50 pm]
FA, I think I love you. ;)
Have you ever been to Kumbh ka mela? We cud be sisters you know. That's exactly what I was thinkin earlier on in the day. :D
[Posted by Aran on Tuesday Jun 29, 2004 at 6:32 pm]
Magi, ms. devil, They're good people. Just not very broadminded. And basically, it's not their fault either. The whole society in which they have been brought up is like that. This post is not about my friends, it's about the attitude in every mind in the society. The FIRST thing which occurs to them is to link the people of the different sexes up together. Later they're ok with it, but well, after much probing and all.
Tabrez, Hi. :D
[Posted by Aran on Tuesday Jun 29, 2004 at 6:40 pm]
Oh yes Aran, they are indeed excellent people. How good friends are they? Can you borrow their clothes? ;)
[Posted by Magician on Tuesday Jun 29, 2004 at 11:59 pm]
As a matter of fact, I can and did. :p
[Posted by Aran on Wednesday Jun 30, 2004 at 10:59 am]
Next time that person calls up while you are with your friends, mention the word divorce ;>)
[Posted by Anoop on Wednesday Jun 30, 2004 at 3:44 pm]
:o
How CAN you?!!!
[Posted by Aran on Wednesday Jun 30, 2004 at 4:43 pm]
:>) I can.
[Posted by Anoop on Wednesday Jun 30, 2004 at 5:02 pm]
Why?
[Posted by Aran on Wednesday Jun 30, 2004 at 5:08 pm]
What why?
[Posted by Anoop on Wednesday Jun 30, 2004 at 5:10 pm]
I'm going to put a cap on the number of comments you can make Anoop. Let's make it three, shall we? :)
[Posted by Aran on Wednesday Jun 30, 2004 at 5:21 pm]
And may I ask why do you want to do that?
[Posted by Anoop on Wednesday Jun 30, 2004 at 5:29 pm]
Because I don't want long conversations here. :)
[Posted by Aran on Wednesday Jun 30, 2004 at 5:47 pm]
Hahahaha What a lame excuse.
[Posted by Anoop on Wednesday Jun 30, 2004 at 7:11 pm]
jeez...some people just dont get the message .
[Posted by mental on Thursday Jul 1, 2004 at 8:31 am]
I agree with you Mental. Only thing is, I would not go to a place I am not invited to. I hope that is a clear enough.
[Posted by Anoop on Thursday Jul 1, 2004 at 9:45 am]
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