Utter Deprivation Ahead
Ok, I have committed to the GM Diet from tomorrow. I found it on the net and then called up mom and asked her to bring the Day One fruits. That's it. Done. Can't back out now. My faithful readers, please pray for me. I will be much obliged. Also, I might be reduced to food-craving induced ramblings from tomorrow, so please bear with that.
Mom was highly excited when I called her up and told her I'll be on the diet. She almost behaved like I won the Booker. But of course, that's yet to happen. Maybe in a couple of years or so. Watch this space. Until then, I'll let her reserve her excitement for the mundane dietic tendencies of her multi-talented and exceptional daughter. I'm kind that way.
Now, regular readers might know how I feel about diets. I do not like fruits. Nor do I like veggies. I might be able to force down the non-veg bit, well, ok, I will enjoy it and the milk part is also good. But tomorrow... tomorrow I have to face a day full of fruits. Watermelon, apples, oranges, and pomegranates. But I put my foot down at Papayas. I'm glad I was very firm about that. It's very important not to bow down to these diets in their entirety. I have retained my individuality and decision-making powers by saying no to Papaya. Yeah! Say No To Papaya!!! That shall be my new diet motto. The diet doesn't control me, I control the diet. Do you feel the power?!
Neverthless, I shall continue to deprive myself of fine food in some vague quest for happiness. That sentence contradicts itself, but let's not look at it too deeply. The pot of gold at the end of the rainbow will be mine. Why do I feel like Christopher Columbus or some other such famous captain from the past setting out on some back-breaking and otherwise bleak journey? Are you with me in saying that this comparison is totally wrong? I should perhaps feel like, say, Malaika Arora when she goes for her 4 hours of daily workout. Yes, that's probably more appropriate.
On that satisfying note, I shall sign off. Actually, I shall go because I can smell something burning and I think I should shut the computer down. I'm having visions of the whole thing exploding and embedding little shards of glass in my face, killing me instantly. And I would not want to die just when I'm about to attain slimness and perfect body shape.
Oh, ok, well, I was just informed that the burning smell is because they're spraying that gas or whatever chemical it is they spray to keep mosquitoes or whatever insect or disease away. It smells like burnt diesel at the back of my throat and makes me nauseous. If it keeps like this, I won't have much trouble with the diet. Perhaps the mosquito repellant fellow could have come tomorrow. Sigh. I'm all out of luck. Nothing ever happens at the right time.
Anyway. Tomorrow. Diet. B'bye.
Mom was highly excited when I called her up and told her I'll be on the diet. She almost behaved like I won the Booker. But of course, that's yet to happen. Maybe in a couple of years or so. Watch this space. Until then, I'll let her reserve her excitement for the mundane dietic tendencies of her multi-talented and exceptional daughter. I'm kind that way.
Now, regular readers might know how I feel about diets. I do not like fruits. Nor do I like veggies. I might be able to force down the non-veg bit, well, ok, I will enjoy it and the milk part is also good. But tomorrow... tomorrow I have to face a day full of fruits. Watermelon, apples, oranges, and pomegranates. But I put my foot down at Papayas. I'm glad I was very firm about that. It's very important not to bow down to these diets in their entirety. I have retained my individuality and decision-making powers by saying no to Papaya. Yeah! Say No To Papaya!!! That shall be my new diet motto. The diet doesn't control me, I control the diet. Do you feel the power?!
Neverthless, I shall continue to deprive myself of fine food in some vague quest for happiness. That sentence contradicts itself, but let's not look at it too deeply. The pot of gold at the end of the rainbow will be mine. Why do I feel like Christopher Columbus or some other such famous captain from the past setting out on some back-breaking and otherwise bleak journey? Are you with me in saying that this comparison is totally wrong? I should perhaps feel like, say, Malaika Arora when she goes for her 4 hours of daily workout. Yes, that's probably more appropriate.
On that satisfying note, I shall sign off. Actually, I shall go because I can smell something burning and I think I should shut the computer down. I'm having visions of the whole thing exploding and embedding little shards of glass in my face, killing me instantly. And I would not want to die just when I'm about to attain slimness and perfect body shape.
Oh, ok, well, I was just informed that the burning smell is because they're spraying that gas or whatever chemical it is they spray to keep mosquitoes or whatever insect or disease away. It smells like burnt diesel at the back of my throat and makes me nauseous. If it keeps like this, I won't have much trouble with the diet. Perhaps the mosquito repellant fellow could have come tomorrow. Sigh. I'm all out of luck. Nothing ever happens at the right time.
Anyway. Tomorrow. Diet. B'bye.
posted by Aran at 5:19 PM
10 Comments:
Welcome to the GM club. It’s not all that sad. So, don’t worry.
If you hate fruits, you may feel like dying on day 1. Day 2 would be even worse, chewing veggies daylong. Don’t even talk of day 3. Its quite sad on this day.
Day 4 is the monkey day with 8 bananas. You would feel like monkeying around, but you wont have the energy. Day 5 is feast! Blah! Boiled beef (no mention of salt and oil in the diet) and tomatoes. If you call that a feast! Quite similar on day 6. Day 7 is saddest. Brown rice is yuck, with veggies once again. But its easy.
But as I said, its easy. Very easy indeed. Sigh.
Don’t think of repellants and other sources of death. You can just think of GM now.
Good luck.
how is it going?
How many inches are you skinnier by so far?
Tania, I know what you're doing. You're trying to scare me away with ghastly diet stories. I agree you've been doing the diet for four days so you'd know but I'm sure you're just telling me the bad points. As someone told me yesterday, surely I can manage to not eat for seven says in my life and eat for the rest of the 365 days. See?
Btw, ty for the diet support and tips. The dieters of the world unite!! (})
Jai, I didn't even start yet. It's 7:30 a.m. on Day One and a watermelon is waiting for me downstairs. Furthermore, it isn't polite to ask a lady her age or her weight. Well, and not her inches either.
Since u have already told me ur age and your weight, i thought u ll keep me informed of your inches too.
No. I told you my weight?!
So how many melons have made their way into your stomach so far?
!!!CNBC news flash: There has been a sudden hike in the price of watermelons in Hyderabad because of growing demand. Which in turn has led to excessive trading at the Sensex today. The Sensex rose by 100 points in just 2 hours thanks to a certain Miss Arshia who has been following the GM diet. !!!
Go get em gal.. i mean lose em.. :-?
And to think that I'd get encouragement. Sigh. Such naive dreams...
yes, u did.
Very unfortunate.
for u or for me?
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