Piyo Sar Utha Ke

Yes. That ad. Not the Jassi or the Rathore one. I'm talking of the Aamir Khan Coke ad. For the uninitiated, download the ad from here. I take my ads seriously. Also, I'm very nitpicky about them. Where an ad shows potential and doesn't fulfill it, I mourn the opportunity like it was something personal. And the Aamir Coke ad, it almost ripped my heart out, made me forget to breathe, and each time I view it, I have to ground my teeth and clench my hands in frustration. So the first time I watched it... well, the experience has to be described in detail.

Sar uthta hai sammaan main
Sar uthta hai prarthna mein
Sar uthta hai laad mein
Sar uthta hai... kabhi bas yun hi
Sar uthta hai pyaar mein
Sar uthta hai jashn mein

The words. So apt. The music. Just right. The visuals. Exquisite. Those perfect rows of young cadets, galli cricket and the little sardarji praying for a big hit, the little girl doing grown up things and being allowed to do them in such a sweet gesture of indulgence... then that awesome woman sitting on the top of that wow type car, which reminds me of the lovely Sumo Victa ad ("Zindagi ki rahon mein zimmedarian to aati hain... bas kuchh hi log unhe nibha jaate hain. Kuchh log Sumo chalate hain." That one.)

Then comes the best visual of them all, or what would be the best if I could decide between all the cool ones. Well, the one where the guy is kneeling down and offering a rose in a sort of a proposal, mouthing 'I love you' - Sar uthta hai pyaar mein - and then you see the other side of it and there's this little girl who shakes her hand, dismissing him in the sweetest, most adorable way possible. I almost went "awwwwww..." out loud when I saw it. (Please note, almost. I'm not that far gone yet, though I might be in the near future if people keep making cool ads.) Then the scene where the graduates are celebrating.

The ad is an absolute visual treat till then. It looks rain-washed and sqeaky clean, like people sat and airburshed each scene until it was perfectly shining with the colours and the detail. Oh, the rich vividness of it all! Actually, apart from the visuals, it's perfect in the copy and music departments too. Till here, I'd say is the 'build up' part of the ad.

Now we come to the conclusion. There's this dip in the music and Aamir comes in...

Aur sar hamesha uthta hai Coca Cola ke saath

With that the music swells and the tempo picks up. He looks cool, though a bit old, but we forgive him that when we see him give the most comfortable Coca Cola enjoying smile at the end of the ad. That man is a natural at endorsements (though I hate, hate, hate his Mannu Bhabhi). I'm a happy puppy till this point in the ad and I'm thinking Coke's come up with a lovely campaign...

Then... oh then... it happens.

Najaane kitne hothon ko chhoo raha hai

At this point, the ad dies. Whatever came before this is all wiped out and I'm left staring at the screen with a stupefied expression. I simply cannot believe it. There is a heavy weight at the pit of my stomach and I can feel the death of the ad as it was my own. Such a gaffe! Oh Lord, such a mis-step that one line is. How could they do it? How?!

A long forgotten voice is resurrected in my mind due to that one line, and those words, those words which were so often repeated in my childhood come back to haunt me. "Beta bottle ku moonh lagake mat piyo. Pata nai kitne log moonh lagaye. Kitni gandagi...!" And saying that, my petite grandmother (R.I.P) would give such a heartfelt little expression of disgust that her whole body would quiver with the emotion. So even though as children, it would be a real high to drink from the bottle like grown ups, that expression and that shudder would make us look at the bottle like there were the vilest type of earthworms or some other sluggy insects crawling all over it, leaving slimy after-trails. Glasses would miraculously appear just then and we would pounce on them with relief, thanking our stars that we were not drinking from bottles that had been touched by the mouths of thousands of Coke drinkers before us.

And now... now they actually tell us in the ad, in specific terms, that those bottles have been touched by the lips of so many people. And as if we, the people, have not understood the sentiment in that sentence, they proceed to show us visuals of hordes of people drinking with Coke bottles pressed to their mouths. How can somebody be so dumb? Why commit such a suicidal act? Why? What in God's name were you thinking ad makers?

By now I'm such a wreck that I completely miss the last part of the ad. Only the visuals register, not their beauty, but the eye narrows down on the mouth part of the face of the many Coke drinkers who are so oblivious to the anguish they're putting me through. The horror refuses to leave me. I'm numb. Why couldn't they have used the cans that are not recycled? What happenend to the plastic bottles? They are a bit more hygienic when it comes to thinking of these things. Visions of slimy glass bottles assault me and I'm no longer a coherent TV viewer. Will I ever be the same again, I ask myself.

Sigh. The solution: If the ad had been left to me, I'd have stopped the running commentary after Aamir's line. I'd have let the music flare up around the visuals then. The lovely dhol beats that sound so mind-blowing on the surround sound with the woofer on... those would have been enough to convey the majesty of the ad. A perfect crowning glory to a breathtakingly beautiful ad. Let the scenes and the music do the talking. And then, at the end, Aamir saying those by now famous words - Coca Cola... Piyo Sar Utha Ke. Ah, that would have been absolute perfection.