The Reluctant Bride

Nowadays, marriage, weddings and related things have been featuring in my life too much. The owner of this blog, may, might, possibly, in a weird twist of fate or arms (or even wills), might actually be getting married *gasp* Or not. I'm going to keep you guessing on that one. But don't worry too much. Marriage or no marriage, I won't be procreating right now, so you won't have any weird-genes Aranlets running amok in this blog for a while yet. I'll give you time to get ready before that happens. I promise.

So, coming back to the topic, drksideofthemoon - a dear friend and reader of blog has written a hilarious take on the kind of bride I will most probably make, that is, if I am getting married, and you - reader, still do not know whether I am or not.

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The Relcutant Bride

Married! The word reverberated through her head like a pneumatic jackhammer. Incessant and never pausing for a moment. Married! The mere thought gave her chills. She had managed successfully thus far in her life to escape the entrapment of the betrothal web. Married! What was she going to do with a husband; she didn’t even want a cat!

She imagined her parents lying awake late at nights wondering, “Where did we go wrong?” Their daughter wasn’t married. “What would the neighbors think? Did people whisper and point behind their backs?” Marriage! Marriage was the answer, find the child a husband and life would be good again. Order would be restored once again to the chaos of the universe. The wobble in the earth’s rotation would be righted. All that was wrong with the world would be fixed by her being wedded.

The look on her parents’ face. Was that joy? Relief? They had found a husband for her. A man that would wed her. A future son in law. A father for their grandchildren. What was his damned name? It blended in with the jackhammer in her head. She wanted a small, intimate wedding in the local hall. Her father was in serious negotiations with the owners of the local football stadium.

That was another thing, the list of invitees. It seemed her mother and future mother-in-law were both engaged in a bizarre contest of who could come up with the most guests. She had suspicions that both women had resorted to using the phone book and were just pulling names from it. Her mother was currently leading in the “Guest Who Travelled the Furthest”. It seems her brother knew a fellow whose wife had a third cousin in Sao Paulo, Brazil. He would be more than happy to attend if someone would just help fund the ticket.

Her eyes snapped open at 4:27AM. The most awful thought came to mind, it was like a nightmare. After the wedding, would he expect her to do that for him? Would he demand it of her? Whenever he wanted it? She had heard of vague rumors of other wives doing it for their husbands. A few even admitted to liking it. The thought only caused the ache in her head to return. Would he actually expect her to cook?

Married! She would inherit a whole new family. A family of in-laws. People who came and only left when the pantry was bare. Married! She accepted her fate the way a soldier accepts a dangerous assignment. Was it too late for her to join the army and be sent away on a secret mission? Married! What was his damned name? Married! She would be a bride, a somewhat reluctant bride…

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Four Weddings and A...

Now, after that fabulousness, we have a sub-post within this post, cos it deals with the same subject. Well, kind of. Today is my parents' wedding anniversary. Let me give them my heartfelt wishes here, as this blog is close to my heart and the truly special reason is that they are never likely to see it.

Happy Tied-to-each-other-for-life-and-unable-to-escape Anniversary Mom, Dad. May you have many more years of the same normal, everyday marriage. I want you to know that I am very proud of the way you supported each other those two times in the past 27 years. The other 408,392 times... well, we win some... and stuff like that. I particularly admire the expertise you have gained in dealing with the other's neuroses. It would have been better if you could have worked upon getting rid of your own, but I am sure this could be statistically disproved, so it's all okay. I would have been a totally different person had this day not happened 27 years ago. And... wait! That last sentence was so spot on, wasn't it?! Hmmm... going on... I have tremendous respect for all you've been through, though that one time the metal detector beeped wasn't really your fault Dad. I'd like you both to know that I love you. Of course, I do. Really. What? You didn't honestly think that my dieting was a case of misdirected love of green leafy veggies, did you?!

Sigh. End of mushy love message. You may wipe those tears now. The parents got married on May 20th, 1979, along with my uncle (father's brother), on the same day. After a few years, my aunt (mother's sister) and uncle (mother's brother) also had a double wedding on the same day. That makes it four weddings. There was talk of getting me married on the same date, that is, if I am really getting married of course. And that explains the title of the sub-post.

Happy 20th May, 2006 to you too.